Water Your Worth

“I want to give you everything!” This is what I told my boy while we were in the second trimester of pregnancy together… I finished with, “and I have nothing…”, as I started crying and holding my womb with hands full of love and a heart full.

I had nothing because I spent two years giving everything away and being of service wherever I landed. Two solid years working on disconnecting from the material world, reconnecting and strengthening my connection with our creator, knowing that no matter what I would be safe, provided for and contributing to the shift into the greater good (we are all meant for the greater good, a life that is worthy, beautiful and abundant).

When I made the choice to do things on my own for whatever time being necessary, it was not easy BUT I knew that God would lead, provide and be with us because I experienced it on my own. The way everything lined up for this to even take place made it undeniable that this would be the case even though it was a whole lot more to do with a child and incredibly heart breaking. Deep prayers maintained through my every interaction as we made new steps together and God’s presence would ease my concerns with responses of, “Let me, child. Let me.”

As a strong willed woman with a baby, I still did some of the humanness with full on anxiety and concern, all the while listening and communicating to others that somehow it will be better than I could ever imagine and that God has great plans. I was prayerfully led to look into starting a business online that would work with a big ticket item but held the greatest value for myself, my child and others for all that it contributed to for the better. When I finally received the numbers on what was needed in order to get my business going with the purchase of the device my exact response was, “Let me pray on it and see what God wants me to do.”

I had four hundred dollars in cash, no bank account or credit cards. As I asked God for direction I received the message that the one device would offer the best for me… but, I still had no way of getting it. I prayed for two days during walks, waking, searching for jobs, looking into banking and everything else stressful. I went to a church that Sunday and there was an older couple who decided to come talk with us and they were so sweet in how much love they had for each other. The woman had dementia and carried a little stuffed horse and a book and her hair had the cutest little bow in it. Her husband told me how long they have been together and that she still remembers who he is so they are doing great. I could not help but cry a little in knowing that a love like that existed as it is something that I would and have always hoped to have in my family and partnership. After church the couple lingered behind with the husband listening to the pastor ask me about our next move. As the talk with the pastor finished the woman approached me with a page turned to the book that she had in her hand and it was about the presence of the spirit of love. Her husband then said, “We have all we need and like to help others… for whatever reason I was called to be sure to grab my checkbook before leaving the house. I want to help you out, do you need help?” Tears rolling out of my eyes like crazy now, I said that I do not do well with these kinds of questions and yes we do need help but I will leave that to you to decide what feels right and am grateful for every bit. He got my name, went and wrote a check and handed it to me as they left. I put the check in my pocket and was also given a big fruit salad to take back too!

When I got to where we were staying for that time, I opened the check and started bawling… it was the exact amount that I needed to get the device with a memo that said, ‘God is good’.

Now, I have heard some tell me that I was wrong in putting that money towards starting a business but the fact of it is this is between me and God and the only sense that it made while not having anything else to go off of was to put towards something that would better our health and give us opportunity for wealth. I know that it is exactly what was directed because somehow as I build the business and our life, the money for the monthly payments is always there and on time.

There is this image that I saw while receiving the message of, ‘it will be better than you ever could imagine’, before leaving on my own and it along with a few other key things have created my big ticket image of the life I know will be for my boy and I. I sit with this image and all of its details while in prayer and or connection with God frequently and I know that it will be because God is good, God is faithful and I am so thankful.

Thinking small can be an insult the grandness that is totally capable with God. I have seen miracles in many ways and I know that God is with us through it all.

What ways have you seen God’s hand through your life? What ways do you struggle with bringing God into your life? How would you like to turn your life around if you knew you are meant to succeed?

[I truly believe that God wants all of His children to turn to Him for answers, love and provisions. He just wants to be part of the life he created and create life with his beautiful creations (you and all of nature).]