Water Your Worth

Some of you went right into the Bob Marley song, some of you started feeling anxiety creep in and only a few of you nodded with the knowing that God has everything.

This is more going to be a personal journaling in the form of public blogging as I feel more than just me getting out would appreciate it.

“Let me. Let me.” Is what I kept hearing in prayer in April when I fell into complete freak out mode landing back in the states with my six month child; no work, no home and no real idea. And, while I knew I had to “Let God” I also had people to respond to and interact with and this way of presenting things came across as an arrogant, irresponsible fool. And, I totally get it… my life since 2020 has not been anything most could grasp or do, so I do not expect it to be understood even though it stung to be cancelled in times when I needed community and family the most – as a new mom – but, I do not blame them, it’s a lot for even me.

So, here I am again in an incredibly uncertain time and hearing, “Don’t worry. Don’t worry.” in my prayer and breathing time.

Through the months and days of intense regular refining and transitioning, I of course as a flawed human have not just sat back and let God. I have been applying, calling, looking into everything possible while also doing what I can with what has been laid in my lap to work with and be a very hands on conscious momma. Now, I am in what seems like my version of the book of Job where there is just my faith and God and I definitely cry in prayers and ask for assistance but am a little more at ease with this knowing that all will be “better than I could ever imagine” because God is faithful and keeps His promises. This sentiment was told to me repeatedly in prayer when I was preparing for my exit of being in a foreign country with no papers or say in any way of living (among plenty of other aspects that were not the best) and yet every little detail was lined up perfectly and in the perfect timing – there is no denying that this was something that was supposed to happen. And as if this was not enough to encourage me… the verse of Joshua 1:9 which kept popping up for me repeatedly when I was taking steps out of… this verse shows up again today.

Throughout the day I was reminded to pray over worry and not to stress or look into things because God is present. I decided this time to simply allow that instead of freak out and wast time looking into things but to be present with my child and have greater trust. One thing I know more than anything through the past few years is how much God wants to be in connection with His children and have His children turn to Him instead of this world. It can be a tough journey but it is a necessary one, after all we are made in His image therefor doesn’t He deserve the respect of letting Him?