Water Your Worth

This will either have you nodding your head as you have also experienced this or it will trigger you because it is calling you out, either way, it needs to be brought up.

I am full on in the toddler stage of motherhood, every day is an adventure and a time of massive growth, development and emotions. My child’s brain is taking in so much and it can be very trying on my part but thank God I am aware enough and in such a place to be present with all that he is going through. Our daily interactions consist of repeating learned words, running, kicking, screams, sighs, deep breaths, indecisive interests in foods and a spectrum of all the attempts of expressing self. Each day is an adventure and full of everything. I am so grateful that 1) I have grown through all my life’s experiences in order to be my best for my child 2) that God has set us up so perfectly for my child’s best developments.

Recently my boy has been doing this thing where he licks me right before giving me a kiss and it becomes this game between us, it’s especially fun for him when I have salt on my face. What has been interesting for me is that I have had memory recalls of when his dad would do this randomly to my ear as like a weird little play – it was super annoying and a little sweet as I preferred him being playful than other. As I interact with my child while having these memories it ties in to my continuous psychological research on why people have certain behaviors. There has been an increase of discussions on the narcissistic behaviors and disorders and I have not only looked in to it but also wanted to know why it came about and how we can do better to minimize the effect of this disorder to those that get closest to individuals with this disfunction. There was a psychologist who was talking about this and they stated that the reason why people with narcissist behavioral disorder act out or have tantrums is because they are in the perpetual toddler stage and unable to manage their emotions in an acceptable way as an adult. Unfortunately, this kind of developmental stunt as an adult is not an easy (if at all) fix and it definitely cannot be addressed or fixed by anyone else. We can have awareness and compassion but there is not much that can be done for these individuals. If they get to a point when they realize that the ones that love them the most end up leaving their life for good or becoming lifeless shells of who they used to be, then they might be able to address that it is a disfunction in their behavior and then maaaaybe they would be able to make steps to some change, but it is only possible if they choose to and would be incredibly humbling and enduring, but totally possible.

So, why do I feel to bring this up? Because even though change starts with the individual it also starts with us as moms, parents/guardians, support systems and friends. How we are to one another also shapes these people – yes it is a confusing life cycle at times but we are truly all here to be part of this creative existence. I continually turn to God and Jesus to guide me along my own growth and raising a child (I don’t know how anyone does this without a relationship with Christ, honestly). I am far from perfect and I do my best to address my shortcomings to be more in alignment with the example that Jesus has shown us and to raise my child to be as God made him to be. Nothing about this kind of “work” is easy but it is worthy and I believe necessary for the greater good of all.

Have you experienced toddlerhood in a child or an adult? Do you agree or have any insight with this?

(Please forgive any grammar or spelling errors. I do go back and edit most times, but I try to juggle our life and my non stop child while quickly getting one of the many blog topics that run through my head.)