Water Your Worth

I kept hearing this memory in my head over and over again for about a week after I confronted a young lady about her attitude during some shelter living.

A friend in my past had openly transparently told me that this is what she said in regards to me when someone asked her about me. I don’t even know what the original question about me was but this sentiment, rather this reality stuck with me and I was seeing it again. Yes it is true. I feel often that I am way more socially and maybe communicatively awkward than most realize at first and then I say something like, “your attitude is effecting everyone.”. Now being a mom, having always been seen as nurturing and even having held a wellness therapy business where I literally had people’s heads in my hands you would think that this snag in personality would smooth over by now. Like my Texas accent, it is still there and decides to show up when I least want it to.

I believe this is one of the many lessons God is working through me in toning down or maybe just pausing and letting Him lead more and why writing is something that is more fluid for me. I have found through the years that I write letters to people during times of big emotions because I have seen that when I speak it is not as eloquent as I think – compared to when I write/type words can be chewed on and digested easier. I have good speech and speak well for the most part but even now that sentiment comes up again, that I feel it necessary to type out. “She just lacks tact.”

Here is what I have found happens. Often times, I just want to get to the release of moving the words and feelings out of me that I forget to process the other side of things. What is comical about this at the same time is that I tend to feel and observe way more about all aspects and people than most realize. I can understand fully why that person is the way they are at the moment and have complete compassion yet at the same time just want to move through it as quickly as possible thinking that others can keep up with that level. I have only found a few people along the way that can operate like this and even fewer that actually attempt to understand me.

All of this cycles back to why I write and why a lot of people have encouraged me to write more with an added sentiment of how easy it is to get in to my writings. Recently the push to write more has been almost every other person! So, here we go. I have an influx of topics, blogs and experience overflowing the banks of my mind to write about through this blog site, social media and the continuation of my book. While I work on my tact in speech for whatever comes ahead, let’s get some writing done at least.