Water Your Worth

Years ago I saw this tattoo on a woman that was trying to seduce my man (at the time) and I saw it as a cop-out, as if it gave acceptance and allowance to people misbehaving. Today, I hear this repeatedly as an answer to some of my ponderings and a means for another blog post. I had spoken last night about a blog I wrote in regards to God’s response to me when I was asking about the hurt and separation with so many people and how His answer was, ‘Yes, and they are all my children.’ I do not have all the answers and honestly don’t want to, but I know He does and so I do my best to consult with Him as much as possible.

I don’t think it is any surprise to most how much this world hurts, even the lands, trees, insects and animals feel the crushing of the pains between life and dis-ease of this world. Everything from how you eat, what you wear, how you raise your child, the church you choose to participate with in worship, what your extra activities are and then the very obvious misleadings on genders are all being under scrutiny and incredible separating.

I have sat in silence listening to feelings of others and been part of conversations that are really over my head. Someone once asked me – if someone was trans and homosexual but believed in Jesus, are they still saved and I had no idea and my response was that I am not the judge of that but that in the Bible it clearly states that it is an abomination. The definition of abomination is something that causes disgust and hatred. This is where I am led to now. It is the thing that causes the disgust not that the person is a disgust – the sin not the sinner.

I personally know what it feels like to feel more like a boy than a girl and have been working on my feminine aspects for a handful of years now. I once said I wanted to get my tubes tied in order to make sure I did not have children and yet as I was going through my peeling back and unlearnings from the worldly influences, I was given the very clear message that God needed me to be a mom. Who I have become and still becoming is quite beautiful and I myself find it rather disgusting who I used to be and what I and others did to my body, mind and heart. I never once denied that I was a girl though, I just tried to be like a boy and identified as Nic instead of Nicole. I am sharing this because I want to express that I am aware the feelings of not fitting in as who I was and definitely not loved in the ways that I needed, but/and(!) how Jesus never left my side and when it was time for me to face life to live He was there helping me unlearn what has been and step in to what was/is supposed to be all along.

I will not claim to know the level of pain that is in most these days but I know that it is a lot of hurt and that the hurt is creating more trauma with an initiating of a new cycle. I can only tap in to a very tiny amount of what our Father feels and whoa… it is a lot to feel even in the capacity that I am allowed. I have incredible compassion and heart for all and while knowing that it is beyond my say. God says that we are to hate what he hates and Jesus told us that it is not the healthy that need a physician and to love one another as He has loved us. So… hate the sin, hate the actions, hate the separation, hate the perversions, hate the misguidings, hate the destruction, hate how this world operates and hate the pain that it feels all the way from the death of Abel… hate the sin but not the sinner. I believe and know that Christ Himself would definitely sit with someone and allow them to express all their hurts, confusions and longings – He just needs to be invited in.

Have you ever thought about the waters, the sands, the trees and/or even how we ourselves are miraculously made? God doesn’t just create life, He creates Himself through every bit of it because He is the source, the thought which He put into words through and with His son, Yeshua; our very breath is His name, Yahweh and He longs for His children to turn to Him first and for everything. I do not believe that our Father is capable of making a mistake with any of His creation and that He trusts us with some of the supposed burdens because He wants us to come to Him… but I am merely a human and have no way of fully comprehending all that is part of His plans and ways. I just simply hate seeing and feeling so much disturbance and hurt in everything and want more to be healed and to know His totally awesome immeasurable love.

You are worthy of life and especially worthy to connect with the one who says you were on purpose.

(if you feel inspired to bless me and my little family with some financial support, you can do so here and I will pray for God’s blessings to be returned to you in favor)

Thank you for your valuable time in just reading my blog. I love you.