Water Your Worth

Here it is a monthly relevance blog. I love being a mom. I tell most people that it is the most badass role I have ever experienced in life with its equally challenging and all consuming awesome sprinkled with grit and love through out. We all (moms) experience the feels and depths that is in the every day and thankfully I get to go through it all on my own without the added challenges that would have been. However, I will admit that there is a time that is typically more challenging than usual.

Yes. I am going to pull out the menstruation card now because it is interesting to observe and feel and(!) I want to hear from other mothers, please. Since birth my sensitivity to my own body has increased and it seems I might have to take motion ease pellets before doing any kind roller coasters now but it is all so beautiful and deeply connecting. I have been able to actually feel when an egg releases from my ovaries now and I can sense the body preparing to shed. The other thing that is so beautifully wonderful about this is that my hormones seemed to always be out of whack with irregular cycles which caused my mom to put me on contraceptives at an early age, then the wild ride of not knowing my own hormones added with the chemical hormones and the regular changing of prescriptions to find some level of “normal”, followed by my body trying to align and detox after I stopped the contraceptive pills… being a female has been a journey story all it’s own.

So, getting to a point of appreciating regular cycling is actually healing to me and at the same time I have a lot to heal as it seems to be a time period in the month when I feel my mothering is not as good. I want to snack a little more and I don’t always want to share. I want to rest more and not be jumped on or told to do something. I want to be listened to and not have to yell. I get frustrated easier and I don’t want to go through all the different learning stuff as quickly as usual. I want to go to the bathroom alone and not be screamed at and when I want to get something done I want to do it without being asked or demanded to give up my breast for nursing… just to name a few of my observations. I want to be nurtured instead of being the one fully and completely responsible for both of us and everything. I take longer breaths in between answers and definitely ask Jesus to be more present. Any other mom’s feel any or all of this? {want to buy me a coffee?}

But! On top of all that, I will also say my son is in some ways sweeter in the mix of the rebellions as a toddler boy full of testosterone and curiosity for absolutely everything. At night he holds me more instead of needing me as much, he seems to tell me he loves me more through the day and when we walk he tends to hold my hand more consistently. We also have real conversations about what mom is feeling and why something might seem tougher for mom to manage at the moment – not sure how much actually makes sense to him but he says he gets it (haha). It is a real life sour patch commercial in action.

I will conclude by saying how grateful I am to be on this new level of my journey as a real woman, I find great worth in being able to make these observations and even appreciate the ability to talk about it so honestly with my son as he for sure can feel a difference in me as well. So, how many moms can relate or have anything you would like to share/add?