When this post started to be brought to my attention this song became a tune in my mind – “Come together, riiiight now…”, I think it says “over me” after this phrase which is so perfect but, I am not for certain and it is still applicable. “… a man leaves his father and mother and is united with his wife, and they become one flesh.” (Genesis 2:24 and reiterated throughout the new testament) Yes, we are made and called to be united, male and female, becoming one flesh and yet the world has polluted this very deep and sacred connection to just be something to do… There is a very real need to not only address this but, also to heal the wound that honestly goes back to the garden.

A lot of people now a days are not going to stick through this post as it challenges a lot of what they think is freedom. I know that this post might also get some friction but, I am called to write and I trust God to do the rest as I follow. While there might be friction, some friction stirs a fire and ignites a vigor in at least person that might choose a different way.

Now, before I get into the depths of the very real wound and regular attacks of being united as man and woman, I want to start by addressing what happens when this is not taken seriously. I want to also share that I understand all of this personally and am writing not to bring shame but as a means of awareness while also sharing from a perspective of now knowing better and wanting to help bring light into the shadows.

“Hooking up” is just a regularly accepted thing these days and when you really think about the phrase and the feeling of it as it is said, it really feels cheap and not at all life giving. But, there are millions of “programs” and apps that now make what used to be something that happened from a party night now a potentially daily “activity” (just calling it an activity feels awful to me). There are a lot of physical dangers that most are aware of but still brush past, as if somehow the care of health and body has just been blurred over with a choice to be care-less is made as dark desires win over. But! There are also greater dangers in the spiritual aspect of this – when penetration and connection is made between two people there is a bond made in the flesh and spirit and a soul tie is established. Man and woman were made to unite in marriage which in the ways it was made is the actual consummation – intercourse, and when this is done loosely there are not only lots of unwanted marriages but also lots of added “material” to each person (physically and spiritually). I, and I think most can agree to this sentiment, was “looking for love in all the wrong places.” and it cost me a lot…

While God established marriage to be the actual connection and union of bodies, this is still relevant even in the now legalities of marriage. I learned recently that a marriage can be nullified legally if there was not consummation (sex) because there is not real bond established. Waiting until marriage is such a beautiful and Godly choice that is unfortunately mocked and less likely to hear of than it should be. I have met a handful of people that have held this choice firmly and it has always brought a sense of awe to me as I love a good love story and these are the most real ones.

Why did I say this is under attack since the garden? Well if you look at the full description of the deception that took place by satan and Eve and Adam you will see that satan didn’t just put the against God’s one request but, he put them against each other as well. This continues to this day – challenging marriages and getting people to create unGodly ties is where the enemy “thrives”(false thriving because he creates decay and is due the fate of death forever, but he thinks he is winning when souls fall). This is why it is more common to hear someone say, “Please pray for my marriage.”

“A cord of three is not easily broken…”(Ecclesiates 4:12), thank God for Jesus! When we turn to Him and bring Him into relationships, He is the third cord that keeps us from falling, it is only through Him and His life that we are able to see that light through the darkness, set our burdens down and be led into life, life as intended to be… united.

A Pastor recently shared with me that marriages are so sacred because they are where we develop Love like God. I had not thought about that before because as a mom I see that as developing God’s Love but it is true. When we are bound together and choose to love them through all the various changes in life it is a love that I honestly only know by and from God (and am so thankful for). This also is a great addition to this topic – be so in love with Christ and allow His love to fill you first and then He will direct and unite you to the proper mate accordingly. In this way one is already understanding what Real Love is and not trying to find it or fill something in the self. I think that is why I see these relationships that are so rooted in Christ first before marriage as something to look up to because it is anchored and woven together, life giving and pure… as He intended.

While I may not be able to change my past, I have healed from it. I cannot go back and change things that happened and were chosen but I can be a safe place and a lighthouse for others. There have been many times that I have wanted to go back to clinging to Jesus as a child and allowing Him to take me deeper into His Way, never letting the enemy pull me away or plant seeds and stories of who I was to lead me astray from my first love… but(!), He uses it all truly and I think I cling to Him more now because I know darkness, I know what it means to be lost and found, I know now what Love is and I won’t let anyone separate me again.

I want to encourage you to really think about your body, your emotions, your spirit and what you are seeking. I want to invite you to look into yourself and see the wound as it is and invite the Healer in. Take the necessary steps on your end as well, remove things that create temptations, pick up the Word instead and see the good that He has for you.

For those of you awesome beautiful couples that were first rooted to Christ and then became one: stop wrapped in that cord of three, take every thought captive that is not from you and not your marriage, get into His presence together and most importantly… Be the Light for those in the darkness, shine brighter as the world desperately needs you as a role model (no pressure) and when He encourages you to speak to someone about your love story do so immediately.

God’s views are so grand and to follow the image He made you to be, is of greater worth than anything you know. If the idea of being united with a person is too much, turn to Him… it is where it all begins.